Our Seattle Divorce Mediators believe that when divorces can be settled outside of court, everyone wins.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

• Do both my spouse and I WANT to stop fighting?
• Do both my spouse and I have the ability, with help, to at least listen to each other?
• Are both my spouse and I willing to work at learning the communication skills it will take to problem solve together?

If you answered yes to these questions, then the next step is to meet with a Mediator to discuss whether this might be a process that could work for you.

Our Mediators:

Patricia E. Kahn Effective Resolution of Complex IssuesMediation Learn More about Patricia >>

Mimi Buescher Working together to build a future for you and your childrenMediation and Collaboration Learn More about Mimi >>

Mark Alexander Calm Presence, Clear ExplanationsSettlement Conference Mediation and Arbitration Learn More About Mark >>

Both Mediation and its cousin Collaboration are methods for resolving legal disputes outside of court. You can read more about both on our Services page.

When both parties in a divorce agree to set aside the bullying and power positions and focus on finding solutions that will satisfy the needs of each party, the parties can become allies in finding solutions that will work for both, rather than being adversaries.

The legal advocacy system is a good system – but in divorce it can also leave both parties battered and bruised. The process of working towards the best result for themselves encourages both sides to think of the other as the enemy, as the person that stands between them and their desired outcome. This very often leads to each side throwing accusations, barbs, and innuendo at the other, and receiving the same in return. In the end, there may be a sense of powerlessness as their futures are decided by a third party. Many people look back on their divorce as one of the worst experiences of their lives. It also often means that their relationship with the other party, many times someone they are going to continue to encounter and even co-parent with, has suffered significant and irreparable damage.

In Mediation or Collaboration, the parties can come together to explore mutually satisfactory solutions. In this kind of process each person recognizes that they can best achieve their own goals by addressing and satisfying the interests of the other.

They may still have significant ongoing conflict, but if they both are willing to learn skills to help them de-escalate rather than escalate that conflict, and to explore solutions that best serve the interests of both, then a non-traditional approach may work best for them.

However, Mediation or Collaboration is not for everyone. While the parties to a Mediated or Collaborative divorce do not have to get along, they do have to want to achieve resolution peacefully, and they need to be able, with help, to come to an understanding of where the other party is coming from. A client who lacks the ability or willingness to step out of their own skin for a minute to think about the other party’s needs, concerns, and desires, is going to have a very hard time recognizing and finding solutions that will address the needs, concerns, and desires of the other party.

Contact us for an appointment if you would like to find out whether Mediation or Collaboration might be a good option for you.